A little lesson in self-control

It was a beautiful sunshiny day.  The windows are open, the air smells of spring time, the birds are singing... and then the phone rings.  It's the kids' school.  Turns out it's K's teacher.  K bit a classmate on the bottom, derriere, butt - however you want to say it - that is where K bit this kid.  Not sure how this transpired, only that these boys and a couple other kids were in the play kitchen during learning choice time and all of a sudden a kid is crying.  What in the world?!  Tell me. How. Do. You. discipline something like that?!  Seriously.  That's a tough one.

The Consequences at school were missing out on the rest of learning choice, sitting out of reading buddy time, a phone call home, and worst of all - a visit to the principal.  This is serious business.  My son hurt another child.  How do I impress upon him that what he did was wrong, and administer consequences that seem appropriate with the circumstances while teaching K a lesson in the process?

My hubby and I have learned that our sweet 5 year old son loves attention so he will do whatever to get attention.  If it's something negative that needs a consequence we have learned the best thing is to ignore him.  Not ignore the behavior.  No, we put a stop to the behavior - whatever it might be.  We ignore K.  What I mean by that is the consequence needs to give K the least amount of attention possible.  We decided that he needed to stay in his room for the duration of the night when he got home from school.  We also felt that it would be very important for K to write a letter to his classmate, his teacher, and his principal.  Since he's a beginning writer, this gave him practice with his letters, but it was also something he really didn't want to do.  K did learn that biting is not okay, and we only bite our food.  He learned that though "his brain told him to" it doesn't mean it's a good thing for him to do.  A little lesson in self-control.

Did we handle it well?  I think we did.  As a child, I was spanked for everything.  That was pretty much the consequence of choice for, well, everything.  So as a parent myself, I have very little to go on when it comes to discipline with the kids.  My hubby and I have learned that creativity goes a long way in discipline.  Discipline is not just consequences for disobedience- though kids learn that certain behaviors result in certain consequences.  It is also training, teaching, and molding our children.   Since I didn't know what to do right away, my mind jumped to what I knew.  Spankings.  No, I thought.  How does that fit in with what he did at school?  It doesn't.  In my opinion it will only teach him not to bite because he will get spanked.  No the lesson we want him to learn: Don't bite because it hurts others and hurting others is wrong.     Did he learn this lesson?  I think he did.  I know he felt bad for hurting his friend.  When we prayed at bedtime and asked Jesus to forgive him he was nervous.

Parenting is hard.  Each child is different and each situation that arises needs to be handled carefully, intentionally, and creatively while giving thought to the unique personality that makes up that child that God so beautifully and fearfully and wonderfully created.